The Parts in the Sum of the Whole
by love and petrichor
Summary: "The Universe is big, and we're small." Sam gets stranded on a planet on the other side of the galaxy, away from home and all the people she loves and cares for. This is her story told in fragments.


**The Parts of the Sum in the Whole**

Summary: "The Universe is big, and we're small." Sam gets stranded on a planet on the other side of the galaxy, away from home and all the people she loves and cares for. This is her story told in fragments.

A/N: Thank you Jocelyn aka magnass from Tumblr for Beta-ing (is that even a word idek) this fic!

* * *

She's stranded once again. She's stranded, but alive and not blown to pieces by the Jaffa's staff weapon. She feels the soft grass of the prairie under her bare feet and the sun in her face and she sighs, chastising herself for not having enough stamina to run faster or whatever it is that had her become captured by the Jaffa serving some obscure System Lord she's never heard of before. However, it could be worse. She thanks the said obscure System Lord's unconventional method of punishment, which was just being transported on a lush, abandoned planet on the other side of the galaxy, far from Earth.

She's alive, she thinks as her knees fall into the grass. From the distance, waves from the ocean crash through eroded rocks as a cool breeze blows against her face.

She hears a yell, and finds that there is a group of people at the base of the horizon running in her direction. The military side of her sends out klaxon sirens because they could possibly be hostile and unforgiving.

However, a teenage boy runs to her and asks if she's okay.

And she is.

She's okay, and it's all going to be okay.

* * *

She thinks about home a lot, about how they're doing without their flagship scientist, but she stops counting about the time she's spent on the planet. The people here didn't really tell time; it wasn't their main priority as it is on Earth.

The planet isn't all that bad; the lush vegetation and variety of flowers makes her feel comfortable. The weather might get too hot or too cold on some days, but she's adaptable. The village where the people have taken her in is set at the border where abundant greenery meets the sandy beach. Her cottage is not too far from the ocean but not too far from the heart of the village.

It doesn't take her much difficulty to fit in, except for the fact that she's the only blonde-haired, blue-eyed, white skinned person on the island in the crowd of black-haired, brown-eyed, brown skinned people who look like they could come from the Pacific Islands. Their carefree lifestyle makes it a bit hard for her to adapt since her brain is so ingrained in the routine schedule that Earth embodies. But they help her adapt eventually. These people are a smart and thoughtful bunch. Because of that, she doesn't let go of the part of her that is Colonel Doctor Samantha Carter, Masters in Theoretical Astrophysics as she exchanges her knowledge in space for their stories relating to the stars and the moons in the sky.

"It's big, y'know," Astiana says. The young woman, a good friend and neighbor, sits adjacent to Samantha on a cliff hidden with trees a few clicks away from the village. It's nighttime, and the moon is impossibly bright.

Sam leans back on a tree as she bites on the local fruit that tastes too much like an orange. She lets the sweet juice dribble down and drip from her chin.

"It is," she replies.

"We had books back home before the big guys came and took us. Those scientists—the ones just like you—spend all their time gazin' up at the sky. Makin' books about it. I mean, we do too, but we makin' stories while you lot actually explain and figure out what's goin' on up there."

"It's fine. The stories make things interesting."

"I could never understand those huge words back when I was a young'n. But I do know this."

Astiana inches closer to Sam, as if she's about to tell her a secret.

"It's big, and we small. But we're defined by what we do. And we pile on these actions and good things, and now we grow so big and the universe becomes so small it could be held in the palm of our hands. And that, my dear, is why things happen for a reason."

Sam lets the words sink in as she lets silence takes over, only letting the sound of an insect that sounds way too much like cricket reverberate through the air.

* * *

She hasn't worn her BDUs in a long time; it's stashed under her bed from when she stopped caring about passing time, which was during the fourth month since the Jaffa dumped her on that island. She does a quick estimate and concludes that it's probably been a year and a half since she set foot on this damp earth and had been forcefully taken away from Earth itself. But that doesn't matter anymore.

One day, she just decides to pull out her abandoned military uniform and dig through the pockets and its contents. She doesn't know what she's looking for, but she hasn't had a good day and a wave of nostalgia has been making her feel more depressed than she should be.

Tucked in the breast pocket of her BDU jacket holds a photo, wrinkled from the hardships her uniform has gone through and faded in time. She almost doesn't breathe as her thumb brushes over the three smiling men in the photo and she doesn't realize that she's crying when someone speaks from behind her.

"You okay, Sam?"

The young teenage boy stands at the doorway. His features are shadowed, contrasting the light from the bright sunlight behind him.

"I'm fine, Shaik" Sam replies. Her cracking voice speaks otherwise. Shaik walks in and stops until he's right in front of her.

"You're crying."

Yes, she is. But she's a Colonel in the Air Force—no. She doesn't know that for certain anymore. But she's a strong person, and strong people don't cry.

"Who's in the photo?" he asks, sitting down next to her at the foot of the bed. He frowns and points at one of the men. "That man's a Jaffa."

Sam laughs. "That's Teal'c. First Prime of Aphophis. Well, former First Prime, but he's actually a good guy. He wants freedom for his people from the System Lords."

Shaik nods. He probably doesn't know who Apophis is, but he's going to let her talk because it's something she needs right now.

"That's Daniel, and that's Jack."

She blinks. Jack. A lump forms in her throat and she swears more tears are threatening to fall from her eyes but she takes a deep breath and soldiers on.

"Are they your husbands?"

She laughs again. Polygamy is a normal happenstance in this village's society, but it's amusing to think about how SG-1 would act as a married couple.

"No, I used to travel the universe with them. They were fun. You couldn't ask for a better group of people."

And then she starts pouring out her story of SG-1, how Jack is a snarky, sarcastic son of a bitch who always bickers with Daniel like an old married couple. How Teal'c is so immersed in Earth culture as he tries to find his place as a Jaffa. Hell, she even talks about the carefree, eager-to-learn Jonas Quinn and his small time on SG-1. She talks about their loyalty, how Jack never leaves anyone behind (despite having a knack of being very sassy), how Daniel is such a sweetheart, how Teal'c is so very protective of the people he cares about, how Jonas is always eager to learn new things. By the time she's done, the sun is starting to set on the horizon.

"I know you aren't joined in marriage," Shaik says. Throughout her story, he listened to her every word, fascinated by her story of home. "But you seem to care for Jack a lot."

Sam freezes. Right now, thinking about him is a territory she doesn't want to enter.

"You mentioned him a lot," he adds. "More than the others."

She sighs.

"You could say I had feelings for him," she murmurs. "We couldn't be together. There were rules against it."

"Why're there rules about being in a relationship with someone else?"

"It's complicated."

"Do you love him?"

She takes the time to think about this question. The supper bell rings, signaling that it's time to eat. Shaik leaves, leaving the question unanswered. Staring back at the photo, she answers to the wind, to no one in particular.

"Yeah, I do."

* * *

Before Shaik leaves to help wash the dishes and before she heads back in her cottage, he taps her on the shoulder.

"It's okay to cry, y'know. It makes your heart stronger."

The photo hangs on the wall where her bed rests against. More often than not, she stares at it every night, letting their smiling faces and distant memory carry her to sleep.

* * *

The night when both moons both appear in the sky is called the Feast of Twilights. This festivity is a big deal for the village, since this natural occurrence happens once in a lifetime.

In another moment in time, Carter would have used her skills as an astrophysicist to calculate how many times this occurs by Earth year, working herself into the ground spending many restless nights until she got her answer. But this time, Sam decides to just enjoy the feast, helping with preparations as much as she could. She can't cook, but she uses her military skills to hunt for meat and look for the finest fruits to harvest. She helps with decorations and becomes the handyman for whenever things need to be fixed.

She doesn't think about Earth at all, just the earth she stands on. Not this time. She wants her temporary home to feel just as nostalgic and homey as her home light-years away. Because she feels like time is going both fast and slow. Slow because of the simplistic lifestyle by the beach and fast because she knows one day she'll have to leave this place. The universe works in all too mysterious ways, just as Astiana hints.

* * *

"There's a huge bug in the sky!"

One day before celebrations, a young child yells and points to the sky. Everyone's planning and preparations are interrupted as a huge black spot in the sky becomes larger and larger. In no time, they find out that it is definitely a ship. Practically the whole village runs to where the ship has landed: in the field where Samantha was transported by the Jaffa. The long stalks of grass create ripples like the waves in the water as the ship lands onto the patch of grass.

It doesn't take that long for Sam to realize that it's a ha'tak.

The tension runs high, but not one person in the village dares to speak. Some are worried; some are fearful. Is the System Lord back to take his captives? Or is this another one, ready to capture and make slaves of humans once again?

However, a door opens and she is taken by much surprise. Four men emerge and she stops breathing once she realizes who these men are. She hears murmurs of concern, and she knows it's time to act. To say hello once again.

She swims her way through the crowd and makes her way to the front. It's probably not too hard to spot her from the crowd. She's the only white skinned person in a sea of brown skinned people (although she jokes that working under the sun too much has made her a bit dark) and she wants to stand out.

And then she starts walking.

One step. Two. One. Two. Left. Right. Left. Right.

She starts walking slowly towards them. She feels the grass swishing against her bare legs like the itty-bitty schools of fish swimming by in the ocean roaring in the distance. By then, it has become truly silent; the murmurs from the village people have stopped and now nature could only be heard singing her song.

She walks, and the all too familiar man in the very front of the crowd of armed men starts walking to her. He removes his rounded sunglasses as the wind blows his grey hair around. Tears threaten to fall down the corners of her eyes, but she resists crying. She has to stay strong.

She's back to where she started: on the prairie where the rings transported her. She remembers the feel of the teasing grass and the damp Earth on her feet and the sigh of relief as she realizes that she won't get tortured by Jaffa. That was one too long ago. This is where she started, and this is where she will end. Astiana was right: things happen for a reason. The universe in her hands and she knows she has a decision to make.

Soon she finds herself in front of the man who once gave her orders in the field. They stand too close a proximity than what is deemed normal, but neither could care. She could almost see the lines of age in his face, the darkness in his eyes as the years wore him down.

"Carter," he says.

She closes her eyes, letting his voice vibrate through her body, into her ears and up her brain, down her spine, through her legs and arms, and out her toes and fingers. His voice is deep but soft like a whisper of desperation, nothing like the commanding officer he embodies.

Carter. Does she really want to go back? Of course, she wants to go back home where she belongs, but does she want to go back to being "Carter" or "Colonel" as people ask her to do the impossible every day? She's thought about this moment more times than she could admit. She imagined a huge reunion full of smiles and laughter as they transport her back home. Janet would give her a full physical, there would be a debriefing, maybe a window of recovery, and they would probably go and celebrate at O'Malleys.

She opens her eyes and meets his. She then lifts her hand and traces her fingers along his hairline, then back down to his eyebrows. She feels the rough lines and scars on his face as if she needs confirmation that he's here in flesh and blood.

"No," she says as her fingers stop at his lips. She makes her decision right there and then. "Just Sam."

He stares at her and a look of realization overcomes his features. She's changed and she's different than the person she used to be the last time he saw her a year and a half ago. But it's okay. He responds by stepping forward and pulling her close. His grip is tight around her waist, and she could feel the tension in his body dissipate as relief finally takes over. He buries his face in her neck and she could feel the deep intake of air as he inhales her odor, probably of rough earth and nature and salt from the beach, and exhales a shuddered breath, warm against her skin like the breeze from the north.

She swears she could feel tears against her neck. But it's okay. He's here and she's here and maybe they're small in comparison to the universe but they feel as big and powerful as a supernova and now she understands Astiana's words to the full extent.

* * *

They can't stop touching.

Sam realizes that her father has joined the pursuit in finding her, but she doesn't leave the planet right away. She introduces them to the village people (who have welcomed them with open arms) and invites them to the Feast of Twilights and its preparations.

It starts with brushing shoulders and a hand to the back as she leads the men into the village. She introduces Daniel to the town historian slash archaeologist, and they seem like a match made in heaven. The children have whisked Teal'c away in hopes for his stories about his work as the rebel Jaffa. She exchanges smiles and hugs with her father who joins her and the Colonel back in her cottage.

"Nice place," he comments. "Simple, but homey. I like it."

"We haven't been able to get that much information on this System Lord," her father comments, his eyes scanning the room. "It took us quite a while, Sammie. Jack here had squabbles with the President and Joint Chiefs and even with George to find you."

Sam doesn't ask at all. She doesn't feel the need to; although, a while back she would have. Instead, she laces her fingers with Jack's, squeezing it as she silently says her thank you. He's a bit baffled at it at first, his look of surprise jumping back and forth from her to her father. But her father doesn't say anything, even as he looks straight at his daughter and the Colonel. There is something in his eyes that express understanding, that need to _be._

"It took a long time and quite frankly it'll take a while to narrow down how we found you, but that could be saved for the debriefing later."

"Hi," Shaik says, sticking his head in the door. His eye widens at the two men, not expecting them to be in the room. "Uh…"

"Oh, Shaik," she says. "This is my father. And that's—"

"Jack?"

He stares at the teenage boy with surprise as Shaik gives him a sly smile.

"I've heard a lot about you. Anyways, we have food prepared for our visitors. We would ring the supper bell, but you two probably wouldn't know what that means."

"Thank you," Jacob says as he heads out the door, leaving her and Jack inside.

"You talk about me?" he asks with raised eyebrows.

"Sometimes," she replies with a blush.

* * *

The Feast of Twilights begins with a bang. Literally.

She is sitting with Jack in front of the bonfire at sunset, her back flush against his chest, his hands snugly wrapped around her waist as they watch dinner cooking over the fire.

The sound of the firecracker startles everyone but they quickly get into action. Someone yells and everyone starts running towards the prairie where the ha'tak rests. Only the elderly and the people in charge of dinner plus Teal'c and Jacob stay behind, but they smile nonetheless as crowds of people rushing to the prairie.

Sam laughs as she and Jack run hand in hand, letting the wind brush past their faces. On the way, several people hand them lit firecrackers and they raise them up towards the sky, creating a cacophony of sparks and explosions to challenge the radiance of the setting sun and the rising moon. Children dance in circles and drums bellow in the distance mixing in with the sweet sound of celebratory yelling.

She dances with him, and they watch as their faces flash different shades of yellow and orange as more firecrackers are shot up into the sky. Her whole face lights up with a smile that could compete with the sun in the horizon.

He offers her a piggy back ride and his heart swells as he hears her yells of celebration: one hand holding up a firecracker like Liberty with her Torch and her other arm holding onto his chest for dear life.

He trips and somehow she falls right on top of him. They can't stop laughing, but they let everyone else celebrate as they gradually fall silent, keeping their eyes fixed upon each other's. Their faces drift towards one another like electrons and protons as their lips meet for the first time.

They kiss and the world around them, the sounds and the screaming and the lights, all become fuzzy and muffled. Grass and fingertips graze their skin as they feel time slow down like flowing honey.

They kiss, and the universe is in the palm of their hands. Just like Astiana said it would be.

* * *

"You've changed."

They sit off to the side as dancing and music continues on in the village as they finish the last of their supper. All the fire that usually is lit in the village has extinguished, and everyone bathes in the moonlight offered by the two celestial bodies in the sky. The children once again surround Teal'c, attentive to his story telling and Daniel, as usual, finds himself with another woman.

Sam finishes the last of her meat, taking a bite of a cow-pig meat that tastes very much like lamb, and leans against him. His arm immediately finds its way around her shoulders, and they meld together perfectly.

"I know," she replies. Glancing up at him, she adds, "You've changed, too."

"You don't even technobabble anymore," he jokes, jabbing at her sides. "I was expecting a full on speech about the planet's orbit and how many times a year both these moons appear at the sky at the same time."

She laughs and buries her face into his chest. A few breaths pass before he speaks again.

"Are you coming back home with us?"

His voice is laced with hints of fear and worry, as if she could answer anything but "yes."

"Of course I am. What makes you think I'm not coming back?"

"Well, you sorta made a life here. You look happy with all these people around you. I just thought…"

She places her fingertips against his lips, causing him to fall silent. Standing up, she offers a hand to Jack to help him up. There is a twinkle in her eyes as she leads him away from the crowds and celebrations and into the tangles of leaves and bushes. She guides him up the rocks and leads him to the precipice where she and Astiana always sit and watch the stars at night.

"Pretty place," he comments. Leaning against a tree, he welcomes her in outstretched arms as she settles down against him, back against her chest.

"Astiana and I used to come up here once in a while," she says. "We talked a lot."

"Hmm, Astiana. Is she the woman who lives next to you with Shaik?"

"Yeah. She helped me through the first few months of living here. I remember one night she said things happen for a reason."

His chest chuckles from underneath her back.

"Nice to know clichés are consistent throughout the galaxy," he says.

"We're defined by what we do. The universe is big and we're small. But all these things we do make the universe small in comparison, if that makes sense."

"I like the way she thinks."

"I like to think that that's why I haven't quite moved on yet. I knew that things would play its course and that somehow you'd find yourself here. I knew, considering our situation, that I'd have to wait a while."

She turns around in his arms and once again he buries his face in her neck, the grip around her waist tightening. She can feel the desperation in his embrace, that relief of "god, you're finally here" finally setting in.

"I love you," he says, pulling her back enough so their foreheads only touch.

"I know."

"It was only a matter of time, y'know? I had a whole year and a half to think about this. A really rough year and a half. And that's why Jacob hasn't beaten me down for touching his daughter. I think they all understood that at this point, regulations didn't matter anymore."

Sam smiles. It's been so long that the regulations have completely passed over her head.

"What do we do when we get back home?" he then asks in a soft voice.

"We wait and see."

* * *

She wishes she could say she left and never looked back, but that's clichéd and she knows how some people (especially a certain General) feel about them. She watches the waving crowd of people zoom out into minuscule insects and never takes her eyes away from the window as landscape turns into a planet.

It was a teary goodbye. She received many presents ranging from food to handmade jewelry and she gave many hugs and kisses. They even gave heartfelt goodbyes to SG-1, who were deemed very good company.

"Hey," Jack says, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind her. Resting his chin on her shoulder, he whispers in her ear, "Penny for your thoughts?"

Leaning back into his chest, she closes her eyes and shivers at the feel of his warm breath.

"It's a bit surreal that I'm going home. It's now finally hitting me that I've been away for a year. They never really did tell time back there, except by moons. One moment I'm there, next thing I'm here, on my way back to Earth."

"You wanted to come with us, right? Because I didn't want to force you to come home."

She turns in his arms and lifts an eyebrow at him.

"I thought we already talked about this."

"I just wanted to make sure."

"Jack, don't worry. I won't be going anywhere."

The ship goes into hyperspace and the planet disappears in front of her eyes. But it's okay; she's got home right where she needs it.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Wanna go fishing when we get home?"

She smiles.

"Absolutely."

"_When it all goes quiet behind my eyes, I see everything that made me lying around in invisible pieces. When I look too hard, it goes away. And when it all goes quiet, I see they are right here. I see that I'm a little piece in a big, big universe. And that makes things right." _–Hushpuppy, Beasts of the Southern Wild


End file.
